Do You Host Blame-Shame Parties?

December 21, 2018
Photo by Igor Starkov

Throughout these months, I've realized that I feel more in tune with my intuition than I did a year ago. I trust in it more and it feels like we're more partners than simple friends we were before. We've grown through mistakes and lots of crying, but I'm glad we're at this place where we're almost one.

Our trip to Europe was an adventure but, I do regret a few things. One of which was being too scared to really follow my gut to go out on my own because I didn't know the language. Being out with the group was hard enough but with their support and translating, I was able to get by. But my image of staying in a cafe, reading, writing, practising calligraphy didn't come to life because I was too fearful of making a fool out of myself in my pronunciations and if I'm honest with myself I do regret that part. 

The instant feeling of regret is blame but there is no one or nothing to blame at all. Why do we always want someone or something to blame? To feel better about ourselves? That never really works out, does it? It always brings up arguments and you'll fight back to make yourself feel superior to the other party. 

"Damn it, fear! Why do you always get in the way?"

Although you genuinely are superior to fear, by putting the blame to it, you're bringing yourself down alongside it. You'll feel awful and sulk in that blame-shame party for a bit and when something else gets your attention, you'll feel great! But when you think about that regret, dan dan dan, that blame-shame party starts again, like a cycle. 

So, I do think about that particular regret from time and again but my thoughts have always managed to overpower my regret with "Definitely, one day, and soon." And that my readers, is forgiveness in it's truest form. 

Forgiveness is one of those decisions that us mere humans are always so fearful of. It's a miraculous decision that allows us to really feel those feeling that we've been repressing and finally with a full heart let that go. Some people find it hard to forgive others since they feel superior over that person. "I'm not going to forgive them. They must make up for it!" you might think, but alas that's the blame-shame party starting up again and it will only grow into that ball of darkness through time. So give it some light. 

What I've grown to learn so far is that regret graciously brings you and your intuition closer. Because we know that when an opportunity raises once again, our intuition and us will hold each other's hand and walk into that cafe, order something in a language you barely know, sit down, and be proud of this moment of achievement.

Go forth, forgive, trust, and love.

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