Do You Host Blame-Shame Parties?

December 21, 2018
Photo by Igor Starkov

Throughout these months, I've realized that I feel more in tune with my intuition than I did a year ago. I trust in it more and it feels like we're more partners than simple friends we were before. We've grown through mistakes and lots of crying, but I'm glad we're at this place where we're almost one.

Our trip to Europe was an adventure but, I do regret a few things. One of which was being too scared to really follow my gut to go out on my own because I didn't know the language. Being out with the group was hard enough but with their support and translating, I was able to get by. But my image of staying in a cafe, reading, writing, practising calligraphy didn't come to life because I was too fearful of making a fool out of myself in my pronunciations and if I'm honest with myself I do regret that part. 

The instant feeling of regret is blame but there is no one or nothing to blame at all. Why do we always want someone or something to blame? To feel better about ourselves? That never really works out, does it? It always brings up arguments and you'll fight back to make yourself feel superior to the other party. 

"Damn it, fear! Why do you always get in the way?"

Although you genuinely are superior to fear, by putting the blame to it, you're bringing yourself down alongside it. You'll feel awful and sulk in that blame-shame party for a bit and when something else gets your attention, you'll feel great! But when you think about that regret, dan dan dan, that blame-shame party starts again, like a cycle. 
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